16th November 2014
it was dad's birthday yesterday l wish he was here so l could talk to him l miss so very much
He would have been 90yrs old if he were still alive
l miss my ming
the piggies have been great fun there so sweet and cute
poor Andy is so tired all the time l feel l've let him down by not working just living off him
l wish so many things where different
l love him so much l really get scared he will go out that door one day and
never come back
l would be so lost without him
l think that would be the end of me
l've been having such aweful dreams
running - hiding - being scared - my skin crawling but l cant see what is doing it
dark such very dark dreams
sounds silly when l write then pdown but i wake my head spinning
pain in my shoulders neck lower back hips and now my arms often one
of my hands has pin and needles
l'm a wreck
wish l could trade this body for one that worked better
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