Weird week

I almost lost my Bracken last Monday he had been unable to stand by himself and was in constant pain Andy and I decided that was unfair so we booked him in to be put down 1:30pm Monday 14th Jan 2013. half an hour before we went he came good interested in things he even wanted to go for a walk you could have knocked me down with a feather I was so shocked it was as if nothing was wrong with him, we took him to the vet (Sara) and we talked options which an hour before I didn't think we had any. So the vet gave him an injection (2 I think) and sent us all home with pills for him. He's almost back to normal a bit wobbly in the back legs still can't get himself up but he is enjoying life again I could be more relieved or happy to have my boy still . I know it won't last years (mores the pity) but for now its one day at a time, its better than winning tatts,
I got really angry today and I fought so hard to stop it but couldnt Andy hugged me and I felt so much better there is nothing more magical than a hug from someone you love who loves you Weird week but at the same time AWESOME xx love my boys I'm so lucky

New Year

Well here we are in a new year 2013 wow Time is going by so fast.
went to Celly's for Xmas lunch and Chrissies for a late lunch made Chrissie cry well done a few days later we went to see Greg and his wife Lyne made Greg cry too I'm doing really well.
Just had 2 blistering hot days Trixy came and stayed for 2 days with Alex it was so nice to see them.
Xmas is always hard memoriers  of years gone by I've been up and down the hot weather never helps.
Saw the grand kids on Xmas day that was great I miss the little monkeys when I don't see them phone call rather late from Elvira her husband has walked out again hope thats an end to it. There life will be better without him the way he carriers on. Finished last year with a 5 week court case I was on Jury Duty it was soooooo boring glad thats over drug case not nice at all finished on the 21st of december 2011. then Xmas a few days later what a plalarver. Hoping this year will be better.

I have just spent the last 4 weeks of my life in the county court in melbourne as a jury member. there are 12 of us its so boring we mostly just stand up and sit down and walk in and out of court. Hoping it will finish this week I am so over waking up at 6am and traveling to the railway station to get a parking spot before 7:30am. to then sit in the car for 1 hour my train arrives at 8:30 am I read and drink coffee. I then catch my train to flagstaff station and wander up to the ground as its underground. I then go to petty sessions cafe and have more coffee go into the court building go to the loo then go outside again for a smoke return go up stairs and get more coffee and try really hard to interact with strangers that I would never in my life assocate with its so dam weird then the green man pops his head through the door to count us and we sit sometimes for hours going crazy or sometimes we go straight in for maybe 5mins to 1 and half hours then lunch more coffee more smokes back to court to do the same all over again then trudge home on the train filled with strange people who go to enourse lengths not to notice there on a train very strange. I finally arrive at home so tired I can't think I'II be so glad when this has fially ened but when will that be hoping the end of this week keeping my fingers crossed.

Not a good day SAD

Celly's gone to Cairns today so I went and picked up her car from the machanics at melbournes cheapest cars thats where james works. I didn't really wan to see him but he saw me and called out so I was stuck talking to him Its not that I don't like James it just that it reminds me how much I miss his mum Cal. I'm so sad now, and I have no one to talk to , I can't talk to Kaye she's not well I can't talk to Chris she's on another planet Ang is totally out of the question My brothers are useless at the best of the time.Andy is just so overloaded at the moment it wouldn't be fair So that leaves me all alone. Feeling very sorry for myself, Life wasn't meant to be like this Why did Cal have to go I could name a dozen or more people that could go and It would have no lasting effect on me, but Cal I miss so much and I feel so lonely when I think about all the brilliant times we HAD.

I'm just feeling sad

halloween

Its been a strange few weeks, Chrissie broke her car and I offered to help ( cure my goodwill) It ended up costing $1,000 and 5 days of hell listening to warren curse out my daughter in front of the kids (12, 3)
I really just wanted to backhand him in the face more the once. But instead I just switched the off button in my head. I've been so tired Chris and warren are still fighting as far as I know but they don't answer any of there phone. it makes me a little mental well a lot. I've been thinking alot about the past which has been making me feel sad I miss my parents so so much Andy as always has been brilliant I couldn't ask for a sweeter kinder person in my life I often wonder why he puts up with all my rubbish. But I love him more than anything and I know he loves me too. lucky me.
Angie has been popping up lately, not sure why, hope it doesn't end in disaster .
just had a great halloween had andy home for 4 days which was excellent but my back has been playing up something awful on last book of the harper series back to sookie soon

nothing to say

Weird times

its been a weird few weeks either I'm up and other halfs down or I'm down and  other halfs up.
I worry for him as he is not happy and very tired . I know its not for ever and with time everything will be good again but I do wish he would take some time off and RELAX I dont think he even remembers how to its been so long. I keep seeing a black dog ever since the op the other week it means huge change but what I'm not a good waiter maybe he is just checking up on me no other clues no crows no dead plants or double moons nothing but this black dog and  its only for a sec then he runs off as clear as day mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
went to visit celly's dog and stayed for a movie it was an awful movie so we came home other half hunger and tired so I feed him and he's gone to bed I think I'II join him
Goodnight