hello self not feeling well this head cold is killing me. I think if my head exploded I would probably feel better. got a strange call from Celly asking if I rang Zita last night asking her not to come here?????????????? pardon what...who??????? Well it wasn't me. Well I don't think it was me!! I don't remember doing it its really hard when you can't trust your own brain, never mind, finally got in contact with Zita and think maybe a wrong number, maybe Ross but I really dont know. Zita is in Tassy for work conf' the kids are fighting big time and she is not coping very well, wish I could give her a big hug but I'd give her this wretched cold.
Rick died this time last year, silly but I miss him or maybe the thought that he's not where he should be. In my mind I put people in - say - boxes, each person belongs in a box with other people from that same box. Then I have problems when people die, cos, there not in there box. Then I put the dead ones in a cloudy place, not heaven or hell just a cloudy place to deal with them, when I'm there with them. I can't deal with them while I'm here, its one of those strange rules I have.
It upsets me to hear zitas kids are being so horrible to her, I wish there was something I could do to help. I feel so lousy this cold is really getting me down and the house looks like some mad crazy cat lady lives here but its so hard to do anything cos everything I do causes pain,
Have I mentioned I hate pain I'm so tired of being in pain every bloody day after day after day and forever
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