what a strange world

Its so hard sometimes I wonder what being dead would be like, I know my hubby would be heartbroken. As I would be if he was gone. Death is so final. I wonder if my my children would even notice for more than a few days. cos life goes on but why does life go on ,more hardship, more pain, a brain that doesn't work and a body that struggles to walk much less anything else. If my hubby wasn't around, I know what I would do, but for him I struggle on. I must keep going because when I finally die a part of him will always be with me. I will wait for him as he would wait for me. Never to be parted for long. Things will get better, funny though I have a tumour and no one has even mentioned it, no asking if I have made the app to see the dr nothing. I hope it doesn't kill me, they will all be left wondering what happened . I don't think they even remember that its there. I feel like I'm so unimportant, until they need something from me. mmmmmmmmmmm what a strange world, what strange creatures we humans are.