Grief

well another day sick. went to the dr's this morning "chest infection" again and its also time for your favourite delight vit b12 injection. woopy I was so excited NOT. Zita returns from tassy business trip on Saturday so lunch BBQ Sunday. I wish Chrissie would go but I know she won't, she is always going on about something or another but never let me share with my grand kids.I feel I hardly know my grandson and we were so close but that was the problem I was too close. I often wonder how she would have felt/feel if I had stopped her being so close to my father. she says she loves me but does every thing to the opposite I am only good for what I can give her I wonder if she knows how like her father she really is. How have I managed to bring up 3 children who don't like me. I gave them everything I could but it wasn't enough. I wonder what would have been enough maybe I should have given them to their father maybe that was my major mistake maybe I should have lied to them. I will never know and that makes me grief ridden