to my dearest children
I have never told you alot of things I went through to keep you safe and with me.
I ran away from your father because he beat and raped me, for years I was scared out of my mind he tried to kill me sereval times he treatened to kill any family member who helped me leave him. I had never been so frightened in my life he promised he would kill you if I took you away.He promised he would make me suffer you would have had another brother but we had a fight and he beat me unconious, your brothers name is Aiden James he died because your father beat me up so badly that Aiden died when I was only 6mths pregnant with him I never saw him the hospital just took him away,I found him at fawkner cemertry he is close to where my parents are buried he's under a big rock his name is not there but he is with alot of other babies that died at western general hospital footscray (as it was called then). he is the child between Angie and Celly. Your father said "sorry" the day we went to Aunty Marilyns baby (bianca) funeral at a hospital in the city some where, it was the only ackowledgement he ever made of the event. I have always wanted you to have whatever kind of relationship YOU CHOOSE to have with him. But as children I needed to protect you as well as I could . I tried everything in my power to keep you safe and loved I have never loved anyone the way I love you 3. You where my world my sunrise my sunset and laughter and delight. I'm sorry life was so hard but I did my best and hoped that was enough. You are all adults now your life is your own, your choices are your own I have never stopped loving and loving you. I haven't always agreed with what you have said and done but I have NEVER EVER STOPPED LOVING YOU 3.I wanted you to know you where very sweet children you played together laughter together I hate that you don't speak to each other now it breaks my heart but its your choice. If you remember me think kindly of me I did what I felt I had too.
even though I am no longer here where you can touch me I'm in your blood and the blood of your children be at ease my little ones your mother loved you always and forever.
