16th Jan 2015 another year

well Andy had his hernea operation on monday its now friday poor darlin' l dont think he knew how painful it would be.
l have hated every minute of this watching him in such pain its unbearable, l wish it were me not him l dont think men are made to endure pain poor pet.
no get well cards from our dear children no flowers
l often wonder why my children are the way they are
as they grow older they become more and more selfish
l find l dont really like them at all
l often wonder if this is what my mother felt
the only person to really show concern was Andy's mum shock of shocks.
what the hell does that say about the state of things
l wish l could take the pain for him poor darling he is being so brave
love him so much xxx

january here we go again 2015 wow

crird today
self pity
l put myself in a position where l cant meet ppl to make friends
with, then get all upset that l have no friends.
trouble is l dont like ppl but l'd like to have a friend that wont
betray me. big ask l know. l miss my cats and my parents, my best friend,
my nan and to be honest l miss my own children, but thats my fault l brought
them up to be independant, cos l was always scared they would have to make it without me.
l never really expected to live this long.

really worried about Andy l know l make him worry
about money , about me and my crazy brain
celly was right l'll never leave Andy, not for the reasons she says
but l do really love him more than anything and l would be lost without him.
poor bugger, more pressure on him,as if he doesnt have enough trouble.


wish Autumn would have her babies

happy new wonderful year

well here we are another year gone and a brand new happy year ahead l feel this is going to be a wonderful year for me and andy. l have no idea how andy and l ever meet but lve been a very very very lucky girl to have such a wonderful hubby
for the 1st time in years l really think this is going to be a great year
evies first year of school whoa that went quick.
celly not speaking to us but bought us a lounge suite very strange child.
saw elvira and the kids she's very tired but seems happy.
missed seeing my brothers as ross didnt give us a time ?? he's always been strange like that.
garry dropped a huge picture at our front door but didnt knock silly man.
sarah is so exhausted l wish there was more l could do for her.
sadly l didnt make it to queensland lm scared they will die soon and lve not seen them l love them dearly.
maybe this yr fingers crossed