goodbye for now Church my sweet Angel

20th november2014
church went to get her wings poor baby died in my arms with me whispering how much l loved her
l tried so hard not to cry the poor vet it must be the worst of her job
l made it to the car and broke down howled like a child
church had a brain hemorage ( sure thats not how you spell it)
   
she could feel her body but had no control she couldn't stand she'd just flop to the floor l know she was old l know it was her time but lossing her so soon after Ming just seems really unfair
my heart is having trouble feeling anything but sad and lost
kisses to you my darlings fly free glad there is no more pain miss you both terribly xxoo

november 2014 rabblings of an ol' cranky granny

16th November 2014
it was dad's birthday yesterday l wish he was here so l could talk to him l miss so very much
He would have been 90yrs old if he were still alive
l miss my ming
the piggies have been great fun there so sweet and cute
poor Andy is so tired all the time l feel l've let him down by not working just living off him
l wish so many things where different
l love him so much l really get scared he will go out that door one day and
never come back
l would be so lost without him
l think that would be the end of me
l've been having such aweful dreams
running - hiding - being scared - my skin crawling but l cant see what is doing it
dark such very dark dreams
sounds silly when l write then pdown but i wake my head spinning
pain in my shoulders neck lower back hips and now my arms often one
of my hands has pin and needles
l'm a wreck
wish l could trade this body for one that worked better